The Pants Thief
So I was on my way to the laundromat. Newly single mom, living on a quiet tree lined street pulling a shopping cart (not the grocery store type one but the other one!) filled with laundry. Took another street that was pretty much deserted, then got to the bigger one with the laundromat at corner.
But then realized that my favorite purple corduroy pants (with the wide waistband -- where oh where did my hourglass figure go?) was missing. So I assumed it must have dropped off the cart. I left the laundry there and retraced my steps.
And lo and behold, I could see a small purple mound at a distance on the sidewalk of the quiet street! But but then, a beige station wagon screeched to a stop right next to the pants, a man jumped out and made for the pants. By this time I was running and yelling, hey, these are mine! The man looked at me, grabbed the pants and jumped back in the car. I pursued the car a ways yelling but by then I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up.
I tried telling this incredible story at work but I had a hard time because each time I couldn’t help laughing before the end....
Five years later I made a new friend and I told her the story. She said “I know this guy. There’s only one like him (the town had 30,000 people at the time) and he did drive a beige station wagon.”
And who was that dastardly pants thief? That’s for another post..... (And what did he do with my pants –I shudder to think!)
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Gee, I guess those pants were important to him..... If so, he can have them. Still it would be neat to get them back and put them in some sort of showcase as VIPs...Very Important Pants.
ReplyDeleteKati! What happened?! Who was he? Adam West? Do tell! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is a scene from a Farrelly Brothers movie. Purple cords? Oh, yes.
ReplyDeleteI found a great quote for you about it, though: Sally Rand said "I haven't been out of work since the day I took my pants off." There's money in there, see?
And welcome to The Fly, Kati!
Oh kati! You still have your hourglass figure ~ the sand has just shifted a bit, is all! :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome aboard, you wise and lovely creature, you!
Were the pants related to the Pale Green Pants with No One Inside Them?
ReplyDeleteHe sensed that you were destined to become a great intellect of our time. Desperately needing a brain himself, and too shy to assume your manna by asking for your autograph or gum wrapper, he was compelled to stalk you for years, until the Universe relented. Your manna now lies neatly folded in the upper right-had corner of his dresser,where he returns whenever it is necessary for him to think.
ReplyDeleteIlliterat, I suspect I know who you are.... but then, don't great minds tend to recognize each other?
ReplyDelete((Def. Manna: Polynesian term referring to a sort of power accumulating in objects and reflecting that of the people who handled (or wore --gasp) that object in the past...))
I hope those pants are no longer in existence. You know you can do voodoo with them and cause their past wearer to fall flat on her face....
Thanks y'all for your welcome and your interest in and input to my pants problem!
ReplyDeleteAll I know about the guy is that he was a geography prof and eventually got into a lot of trouble.
Among his other exploits: one day he borrowed a pair of scissors from the dept office and he didn't return them. So after a substantial length of time the Administrative Asst. asked him to return them. He returned the scissors but it turned out that he had taken them apart and put them back together with the blades facing outward instead of inward.... now that's a pants thief for ya!