Tuesday, January 19, 2010

In Praise of Memory before mojo gets ripped off...

No no, not that mojo! Another one also known as a gizmo. The truth is that I’m a cyborg. I’m powered by a pacemaker. I need to plug another gizmo up my nose when I sleep (a.k.a. a c-pap machine) and I have to sleep with a dental guard lest I destroy my equipment –because you know, cyborgs just don’t know their own strength!

So this Son of an Electrician has noticed that my pacemaker’s battery is running low, and He has decided in His infinite sparky wisdom that tomorrow is the day it will be taken out and replaced with a brand new mojogizmo.

Now us mere humans have been thinking of alternate solutions. Rich, my very clever mechanically inclined and environmental conscious dude, has come up with the suggestion of having a solar panel installed on top of my head so that the mojogizmo could be continually powered.

But wait! We live in a rainy part of the country. So I suggested a supplemental energy producing device such as a cranking system put through each of my ears. These crank handles could also double as environmental friendly hearing aids.....

So I’m wondering, should I put these suggestions to the Electrician before he starts on the magical procedure?

I’m running out of steam here (a catastrophe, as any cyborg will tell you) –so all I got to say, is that, yes memory is good a lot of the time and so is the memory that is history, etc etc. Buuuuut (grinding noises at this point and a slowing down of speech) I’mmmm beginning to “think” that the Great Electrician has already pulled out most of my rams and even my hard drive ‘cause I can’t remember how I was going to make the case for memory, or even what it is.....


  1. Ah, Kati - I worry about these types of upgrades and modifications, but your good humor about it makes me relax a bit. I'm thinking - up to you, of course - that you leave the electrician alone in his endeavors and never-mindify all them fancy steampunk ear mounted hand-cranks and solar panels until you have better data. Never send a plumber to do an electrician's job, don't you know.

    Oh do check in when the wiring is complete, will you?

  2. Kati Dear ~ as far as a supplemental energy producing device ~ I suppose a hamster on a wheel wouldn't be the way to go?

    My good thoughts and wishes for a smooth procedure and speedy recovery are winging their way to you as we speak, Sweet Lady. I join Schuyler in requesting that you please do check in to let us know all is well.

  3. Greetings Kati. Oh how I hate the word tomorrow! Because, well, seeing as today is today, and looking at the date of your post, I surmize that your tomorrow has now become today! As such, for today, I wish you all of the wondrous grace and beauty that you've shared with us as you go through this little modification with the Son of an electrician (which makes me wonder if we should capitalize the word Electrician as well, or is that relationship not necessarily as *capital* as other similar ones)?

    All kidding aside, Kati, you are in my thoughts and I wish you nothing but the smoothest and best of outcomes. And, as MM and Schuyler said, please, please, please do check in and let us know that all is well and that the Son has already gotten in gear and bugun to work on future modifications. ;-)

  4. Oh you're all soooo sweet!

    It's 1:30 pm and I'm already home! It all went smoothly and fast (of course after getting up at 4AM!), so I will no longer complain about the Electrician. I have a brand new pacemaker and instructions to take it easy for a few days --so a bit of vacation will be wonderful. I have plenty of mystery novels to read and an excuse to not fret about what I should do that I'm not doing...

    My heart is actually in great shape but I have had bouts of atrial fibrillation since age 13. It used to hit me once in a blue moon but as all things get worse (or better!) as you get older it is on its way to do it all the time.

    So for the wonderful music lovers on this site, this is what's happening. Prior to me getting my first pacemaker, the atria would play modern jazz and the ventricules would go for modern assonant /asonal (sp?) classical music. Now the atria still play modern jazz but the pacemaker has no musical appreciation so it reads it as noise and starts to play marching music...

    Mermaid, the hamster and wheel sound like a brilliant idea, but would they fit on top of my head?

  5. Oh, and I forgot to say that they don't put you under but give you stuff that makes you pretty happy. So I started to sing, out of tune as usual, and greatly impressed the doc and the surgical team as they were trying to concentrate on their job. Actually that's the first thing the doc told Rich when he went to tell him how the surgery went.

    I think I'm posting right now instead of being in bed because I took one of the pain pills and I feel like singing again except I don't want to make the dogs howl...

  6. Excellent news, Kati! I meant to ask before you went in, but was more concerned with everything going well than being a smarty pants, but, now that all's okay, I wonder if they used one of those Energizer batteries, where the little Bunny powers everything? And they keep going, and going, and going... Selfish of me, perhaps, but I sure hope so! :-)

  7. Smag, the very same thing was suggested: implanting the energizer bunny itself or attaching it to my head, or perhaps a sort of backpack on my back, or.....?

    The doc didn't take the suggestion seriously, how uncreative of him!

  8. "...but was more concerned with everything going well than being a smarty pants..."

    Well excuuuuuuuuse me! What a brown noser you are, Smag! You just want Kati to like you best. Maybe the truth is it just took you 2 whole days to come up with your lame Energizer Bunny "joke" (thanks Steve Martin) which is really just an almost carbon copy of MY hamster on a wheel joke! How 'bout that, huh? Teacher's pet!

  9. wow! lots of splashing going on under the water!
    (but very funny!)